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(*_*)
Ahhhhhhh feck...I have only one more message left...DOH :)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering
to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
(Well, my job is done Your turn!!)
:)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.
You'll just mess it up.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you are menopausal, put the gun down,
hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
~
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
~
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after
the beep, or before the beep or after the beep.
But Please wait for the beep.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
It doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
voice will tell You which number to press.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and
what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to
press 2 for you.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU:-
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
-Bernie
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hi Bernie, hi Zar... yeah, us kids are dumb... : (
(*_*)did not get the whole story BUT YOU kids are NOT dumb :) ya have the world by it's short and curleys X
-Bernie
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(*_*)
Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage Most likely causes:
You are not connected to the Internet.
The website is encountering problems.
There might be a typing error in the address.
What you can try:.. Going to bed early for once :)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
Took me feckin' AGES to get on here...No wonder there is only 13 online users!!!
-Bernie
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(*_*)
OK I am really going this time :)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
One more moondance with you in the moonlight
On a magic night
La, la, la, la in the moonlight
On a magic night
Cant I just have one more dance with you my love.
:)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
Well, I wanna make love to you tonight
I cant wait til the morning has come
And I know that the time is just right
And straight into my arms you will run
And when you come my heart will be waiting
To make sure that youre never alone
There and then all my dreams will come true, dear
There and then I will make you my own
And every time I touch you, you just tremble inside
And I know how much you want me that you cant hide...
-Bernie
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(*_*)
Can I just have one a more moondance with you, my love
Can I just make some more romance with a-you, my love...
-Bernie
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(*_*)
Well, its a marvelous night for a moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
neath the cover of october skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And Im trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low
And all the nights magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush...
-Bernie
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(*_*)
He said...It's about feckin' time you went to bed.
She said... OK I am away now... haha :)
Night Night everyone X
-Bernie
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(*_*)
He said......Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said......Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed...
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
:)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . We don't know; it has never happened.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
He said......What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said......Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
-Bernie
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(*_*)
He said......Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said......That's a good idea~you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
-Bernie
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(*_*)
He said......I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it!
She said......You wear pants don't you?
-Bernie
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But Canada! Karen, just imagine! Vast open spaces, beautiful summers, freezing winters. The northern lights! Nice fantasy! Hmmmm, just like the me and Paul living happily ever after fantasy! lol (That's not even funny!)
-karen
(*_*)
Does not have to be fantasy Karen...Follow your heart :)
Love ya X
-Bernie
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(*_*)
OK I think I broke GC...
My comments won't send :(
-Bernie
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(*_*)
And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me,
And all my dreams will warmer, sweeter be,
And you'll not fail to tell me that you love me,
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
-Bernie
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(*_*)
But if ye come, and all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be.
Ye'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me...
-Bernie
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(*_*)
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow,
'Tis I'll be there in sunshine or in shadow.
Oh Danny Boy, Oh Danny Boy, I love you so...
-Bernie
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(*_*)
Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side.
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying.
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide...
-Bernie
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but, before i go, good morning to all!
-(ephemeral)
(*_*) Good morning to you too :)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
We are having really bad thunder storms today...I am writing this from under the bed :)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
Hi Jeepers :) Long time no see :)
X
-Bernie
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(*_*)
Night night :)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
OK...Another late night for me, so I am away to bed :)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
The married woman:- I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When myhusband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said,
'What's for dinner, Batman?'
:)
-Bernie
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(*_*)
The mistress:- Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, a mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night...
-Bernie
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(*_*)
The engaged woman:- The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long...
-Bernie
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(*_*)
That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch...
-Bernie
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(*_*)
Three women: One engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men...
-Bernie
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